I have a confession to make. I love the holiday season. Yes, as a single mom with 3 kids, the holidays are absolutely stressful. However, twinkling lights, random acts of kindness, peace on earth, and LOTS of cookies. Well, those things are definitely my jam. (Pun intended – but I do like the cookies with the jam.) Currently, my living room looks like Christmas threw up. Santas, snowmen, lights, and nativity scenes are covering just about every surface, and I’ve spent the past 2 days trying to recover the pieces of the Polar Express from the places where my kids have hidden them so that the night before Christmas, I’ll finally have it running around the tree. (Extra ADHD bonus content – All Christmas decor has been ethically sourced from Buy Nothing Groups. And I fully support everyone’s decision to celebrate or not celebrate holidays as they choose.)
In my culture and background, the advent (pun intended again) of the holidays prompts both cheer and reflection. We look with excitement upon the fun times upon us while reflecting upon the year that is almost gone. When I reflect, I am overwhelmed with things to be grateful for. I’m also keenly aware that one of the experiences of 2024 for which I’m most grateful was and is also one of the hardest. That experience – looking trauma in the face. As a career coach and a trauma survivor, I’ve learned a lot about how trauma impacts our work, and I want to share my first-hand experiences.
I Was Late a Lot This Year
You’ve probably heard something along the lines of, “if you don’t take time off to rest, your body will take time for you, and it probably won’t be when is most convenient.”
If this is true in a “normal” situation, I’ve realized that it’s even more true when you have experienced trauma. However, our culture doesn’t glorify rest the way it glorifies hard work and determination. So, while I was determining to succeed, my body and mind were both crying out for rest. The result was that I was late – a lot. Tasks that in the past had been fast and simple became slow and challenging. I started to question my abilities, when instead I should have given myself grace and rest.
What does this mean for you? If you are working through trauma while also working a job or business, consider allocating more time for rest. Though it isn’t necessary for you to give up your career to work through your trauma, understand that time is a gift you can give yourself, and setting expectations at the outset can help you to reduce the negative impact your clients may feel.
I Reacted to My Triggers More
Something odd happens when you start to face your triggers instead of simply shoving them down. You start to become aware of them. You react to them more. I remember when I first started coaching clients. I used to sit in the laundry room with my back against the wall and the dryer on so my kids couldn’t come in – so no one would know that I had kids. Now, my kids routinely make cameo appearances on my Zoom coaching sessions. This isn’t to say that kids shouldn’t learn to respect their parents’ work time or that clients should have to put up with endless interruptions from kids. However, a healthy balance between parenting and working – especially in the WFH era – involves a bit of blending of the two. Because this year I felt the tension, and I leaned into it, I reacted to these and other triggers more, which led to feelings of frustration, and sometimes feelings of failure. However, when I reflected with my own coach, I realized that what I was doing was healthy emotional processing – not failing.
What does this mean for you? If you catch yourself identifying and reacting to triggers more during your work – good for you. This means you are growing. Consider working with a therapist or other qualified individual to put boundaries in place that will reduce the triggers you are exposed to and consider developing a plan for how to react once you are exposed. And if you’ve had a “big blow up” because you reacted strongly to a trigger at work, it’s not the end of the world. We all have our moments. Take time to discuss with your colleagues and other stakeholders about the experience and what you learned from it.
I Made a Positive Impact This Year
Processing trauma is hard because it is emotionally heavy. Whether you’re intentionally working through a challenging memory during a therapy session or you are struggling with how to handle a work conflict that reminds you all too well of the traumas you endured, it’s important to realize that your professional skills and strengths, as well as your worth as a human being, are not mitigated by having a few breakdowns, meltdowns, or reactions to the healthy act of processing trauma. Just because you struggled with one thing, doesn’t mean you are bad at everything. Even though the world might make us feel like we have to be “all or nothing” packages – especially if we are women – we get to develop, learn, and grow.
Like so many post on social media, I recover out loud so I can help those who are suffering in silence. As I reflect back on the past year, I see how trauma impacted my professional experiences, and I also see how I used resilience and strength to make a positive impact in spite of trauma.
No matter how you have struggled this year, I want to encourage you to keep growing and making a positive impact through your profession. By understanding how trauma impacted me as a professional this year, I know how to better honor myself and my trauma while growing as a professional next year. I encourage you to reflect on your experiences as well, and set your sights on a happy and healthy 2025.
If you would like to chat about your career in 2025 or excelling in the face of trauma, please feel free to send me a text or call me at 708-730-4694 or book a call by visiting morleycareersolutions.com/contact.